But something happened over the course of the past year: my writing began to suffer. I had sort of blogged myself into a corner, so to speak. I was still interested in sewing and design and fashion, but I wasn't feeling all that interested in blogging about those things. I felt obligated to maintain some sort of homogeneity on this blog. Consequently, if I had something to write about that didn't fit here, I just...well, didn't write it. I started several posts about very personal or controversial topics. You know, the things that make the writing process gratifying because you are so passionate about them? But as I wrote, literally the first couple of sentences, I began to censor myself within the context of this blog. I thought, "This doesn't belong here. I don't think I can handle the negativity that will come pouring in if I publish this. I can't expose myself like this. I'll ruin the blog by writing about something so debatable or out of place." The voice of self-doubt was so strong, I would totally shut down. The thoughts and ideas that had inspired me to write in the first place would evaporate into thin air. My fingers froze above the keyboard and I would find myself staring at a "new post" template with nothing but emptiness in my brain.
According to Worldometers, there have already been over 2,467,000 blog posts written today. TODAY. The pressure to conform in the blogging community is intense. Your "success" as a blogger is measured by your pageviews, number of comments, number of "shares," number of followers on twitter, your klout score, and a whole bunch of search engine optimization data that will rattle what's left of your brain after you've considered all the other numbers. There are thousands of blogs devoted solely to better blogging. People make their livings giving instructions and guidelines and tips and video tutorials on blogging 101. Successful bloggers dole out the advice: Stay positive! Be relevant! Be passionate! Stay consistent! It really kills the creative flow.
In recent months, a lot of bloggers I follow have written about how they've grown weary of the blog culture. I think most of them have experienced issues very similar to my own and I like that the people I admire in this community are fessing up about how exhausting it is to maintain a blog "persona"; to filter your life and present only the most share-able aspects of your own existence. Reading about what makes other people real is what inspires me most.
I don't know if I'm ready to really put it all out there, so to speak, but I did want to acknowledge the silence that has been A Place in the Cloud. I'm still here. I'm still doin' stuff. I still like you. And, in an effort to combat the negative effects of blogging, I may be doing some writing off-line. The good-old-fashioned kind of writing that doesn't immediately get published for the world to see. Or maybe I'll be a little more courageous and try publishing something more edgy than how to make a purse.
